So last night Fern, Erica and I, along with some other PCVs went to a beauty pageant--yes a Gambian beauty pageant. It was so ridiculous and amazing I don't really even think I can do it justice in writing. It was one of those times that I was sitting in equal amazement and shock that I had found myself experiencing this and I was eternally grateful that the stars had aligned for me to be able to witness this.
The pageant was called "Queen of Companies 2010" and claimed loosely to be a fundraiser for kids education, mostly it was an excuse for each of the sponsoring companies to get women who work for them to strut their stuff and show their knees.
There were two very Gambian hosts, a male and a female. The male host had some great one liners and hit relentlessly on his female counterpart. She spent the evening scowling and looking confused. The male host started the evening by declaring "Tonight I am going to be the king of all queens," and very clearly stated, "I was informed by an informant that information has been shared." I wasn't quite sure about that one.
The beauty pageant's opening consisted of the eleven contestants participating in a five song opening dance number which consisted of much arm flailing and confused dancing. They moved from the stage to the runway all the while competing for attention and strutting with a combination of grace and awkwardness. At one point the competition for the coveted spot at the end of the runway got to be to much a a girl fell down. After the awe inspiring opening number was the traditional dress portion where each of the girls danced their way out onto the runway and then introduced themselves. Most of them were between 18 and 20 and almost every ones interests included reading (something I've never seen a Gambian do) and surfing the net. They also often mentioned people they admired, popular options were "my mom" and Kofi Annan but the best was a women who stated, "Michael Jackson is my hero because of his love for children." She went on to express the aspiration, "I want to be a surgeon so I can help my people like Michael has helped our people with his music." I took this to be an indication of the lack of news accessible to Gambians--apparently MJs trial didn't make it over here.
After the introductions while each Queen changed into her "fashion" outfits we got a stunning performance by some rap group who lip synched to a song that was blasting over the speakers at a deafening volume while the back up dancers sulked around in their saggy pants and swung around weird yellow towels. After the stunning musical performance an executive from Youki, a Gambian soda company, came up and expounded, "If you try Youki today, your tomorrow will be very different." Seeing as Youki grapefruit has vastly changed how I consume gin packets I would say that is definitely true. After this the Queens did a brief runway show of their Western "casual" outfits. It started out in a very lady like manner with each Queen getting her chance at the runway. By the end however it devolved into women running into each other and bumping shoulders down the runway.
After the fashion portion there was more horrible lip synching and a very strange comedy routine. It was in English but you couldn't understand any of what they were saying. Basically it was two men in skin tight leggings goofing around on the runway and shaking their butts/clenching their butt muscles. They had a field day with all the toubab presence and proceeded to make jokes about us that we couldn't understand other than the brilliant lines, "Toubabs speak out of their butts and kill your mothers." To add to the annoying nature of their performance they stole the lollipop I was sucking on to stay awake. The next section of the beauty pageant consisted of the Queens giving presentations about the companies they were representing. Ms. Africell (a cell phone company) bribed us all with free lanyards and holders for our cell phones. Overall however whatever sales talents these women had was minuscule at best. They mostly just stuck out their boobs to emphasize the company name on their skintight T-shirts. By the time the product presentations were done it was probably close to 2:30 am and we had talent, Q & A and evening gowns remaining. The three of us took quick power naps on sofas in the lobby and were able to stay awake long enough to see half the talent section which consisted of the Queens lip synching to dated American pop and hip hop; think Whitney Huston, Toni Braxton, Beyonce, Cassie, J-Lo etc. They all forgot about the mic they were "singing" into after the first thirty seconds and then proceeded to dance with moves commonly seen in close proximity to a stripper pole. After a rousing number by Ms. Africell with a guitar as a prop it was almost 4 am. As the sun rose over the Gambian beauty pageant we made our way home exclaiming the whole way about the glorious ridiculousness of what we had just seen.
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