The Gambian Sleepover

Written on June 1st, 2010

This past weekend I went on my first Gambian sleepover. I have spent time away from my site in other villages but always in the relative comfort of another PCV's house. This time however I was going to stay with my friend Asso in a village about a 30 minute bike ride from me. After lunch on Friday I set out, not before Yaay Sarjo and Yaay Amie independently verified that I had brought the right amount of complets for the weekends events. I was to stay over Friday night and then attend a big village religious event on Saturday and go home on Sunday morning. I predicted that the sleepover would be a test of my integration, patience, Wolof skill, flexibility and sanity, and in these aspects I wasn't wrong.

I wouldn't say that the principles of the Gambian sleepover are all that much different from the American sleepover: to spend time with friends, see a different family and how they live and escape your own life for a while, they just manifest themselves in very different ways. Here are some of my Gambian sleepover observations:

* As an adult spending the night at a friends usually includes chatting while you prepare a meal together. In this case I illuminated dinner with my head lamp while Asso killed and cooked a chicken for me--a huge honor.

* The imposed rest--while American sleepovers are usually defined by not resting/sleeping, here I was strongly encouraged/forced to rest 85% of the time. When we were not greeting, eating or drinking attaya Asso and her family were bringing me pillows, laying down mats and mattresses all in an attempt to get me to rest. Sometimes it seems the best way to show your gratefulness/comfort in someone elses home is to fall asleep on their bed/in their presence. Don't worry though, my Mom raised me to be polite, so I did take a considerable nap on the bantaba under a large mango tree. When I woke up they were all thrilled, Asso overfed me with greasy rice and then rolled out another mattress and told me to lie down while she brewed us attaya.

* Do you remember how as a kid a huge embarrassment would be if your Mom or Dad made you do a chore while you had a friend sleeping over? Asso's mom, Yaay Mattie, took this to a whole different level. Asso is in her late 30s, but like most Gambians of her age still lives with her family. At around 9:30 pm on Saturday night we were both showered and wearing our complets ready to go drink attaya and milk at the compound of our friend Mamet. (He and Asso are Wolof literacy instructors in the village and very active members of the women's skills group.) As we were about to leave, after feeding and bathing Asso's assorted children, Yaay Mattie told Asso that before we left she needed to cook the sauce for breakfast the next morning. So 10 pm found us in the kitchen hut in Yaay Mattie's backyard cooking chicken and chopping onion. This definitely makes me appreciate that at 35 I, inshallah, won't be living with my mother and even if that is the case she probably won't make me cook breakfast at 10 pm.